Your mother left the house to the three of you. One of your siblings was living there before she died and is still living there now, paying nothing, and has stopped answering messages about selling. Everybody is angry, nobody wants to be the one who starts something legal, and meanwhile the taxes and insurance come out of somebody's account every month.
This article covers who actually has the right to be in the house, what the money looks like, the order in which to do things, and how to avoid turning a family into litigants over an asset that is shrinking while you argue.
We buy inherited houses, so read the last section knowing that. We are not attorneys and this is one of the situations where the cost of getting the order wrong is high. An Oklahoma probate attorney is the right first call, and Legal Aid Services of Oklahoma helps people who qualify, free.
Who is entitled to be there
The answer depends entirely on where the estate has got to, and families argue for months without establishing this first.
If probate is open, the personal representative appointed by the court controls estate property. Not the heirs, individually or collectively. A sibling in the house is there subject to the personal representative's authority, and so is everybody else.
If probate is finished, or the house passed outside it, the heirs own it together as co-owners. At that point each of them has a right to possession of the whole, which is the fact that surprises people. A co-owner living in the property is not trespassing. They are exercising an ownership right, even where the others resent it.
Nobody is being unreasonable by living there. The unreasonable part, if there is one, is refusing to discuss what happens next.
If nothing has been done at all, the deed is still in your mother's name and nobody can sell anything. Our page on the Oklahoma probate timeline and our article on summary administration cover the routes, and the second is considerably faster where the estate is small enough.
What the money actually looks like
The arithmetic is usually less lopsided than either side believes, which is why getting it on paper early tends to lower the temperature.
On one side: whoever has been paying the taxes, the insurance, the mortgage if there is one, and the repairs. Courts can take account of unequal contributions when proceeds are divided, so keep receipts rather than recollections.
On the other side: the value of exclusive occupation. Where one co-owner has the use of the whole property, that can be brought into the accounting too, and in some circumstances an occupying co-owner may be liable for a share of a rental value. Whether that applies to your facts is precisely an attorney question.
And in the middle: the sibling in the house is frequently also the one who cared for your mother for three years, or who has nowhere else to go. That is not a legal argument, and it is usually the actual reason the conversation is not happening.
The four ways this ends
1. One of you buys the others out. Cleanest by a distance, and the sibling in the house keeps their home. It needs a valuation everybody accepts and, usually, a mortgage in their own name. Where they cannot qualify, this option closes quickly and it is worth testing early rather than assuming.
2. They rent it from the estate or from the co-owners. A written tenancy at a market rent turns an open-ended grievance into an ordinary arrangement, and it buys everybody time. Our article on Oklahoma landlord notice requirements covers what a tenancy then involves.
3. Everybody agrees to sell. The house is marketed properly and the proceeds are split by share. This produces the most money for the group, which is worth repeating to people who are arguing about a few thousand dollars of contributions.
4. Partition. A co-owner can force the issue under title 12, section 1501.1 and following. The court appoints three commissioners, and where the property cannot be divided any party may elect to take it at the appraised value and pay the others their proportion. If nobody elects, a sheriff's sale follows, at not less than two thirds of the commissioners' valuation.
Read that last sentence as a family rather than as a litigant. Two thirds is a floor, not a target, and the legal costs come out of the proceeds before anybody is paid. A contested partition leaves every one of you with less, including whoever refused. Our article on partition when a co-owner will not sell covers the mechanics in full.
The order that works
- Establish where the estate actually is. Open, closed, or never started. Everything else depends on this and it takes one call
- Get the deed and confirm the shares. Our page on a Tulsa County deed copy shows how
- Get a valuation everybody has agreed the method for before anybody quotes a number. Arguments about value are usually arguments about who chose the valuer
- Put the contributions on one page. Taxes, insurance, mortgage, repairs, by year, with receipts
- Ask the sibling what they actually want, in writing, with a date for a reply. Frequently it is time, or dignity, rather than the house
- Take advice before threatening anything. The first mention of a lawsuit is the point at which a family conversation becomes a legal one, and it does not come back
Our article on siblings who disagree about an inherited house covers the conversation itself, and our article on the inherited house nobody wants covers the opposite problem.
Where we come in
We cannot help while one owner refuses to sign, and no buyer can. If somebody tells you they can buy around an unwilling co-owner, they are not being straight with you. That is a matter for an attorney and, ultimately, for a court.
If everybody will sign and the house is sound, list it. An open market sale produces the most for the group. Where the family is arguing over contributions, the difference between listing and any cash offer is usually larger than the amount in dispute, which is worth pointing out to everybody at once.
Where we are useful: everybody agrees to sell but nobody agrees on repairs or who manages them, the house has stood empty or half-occupied through a long dispute, the heirs are in three states, or one sibling needs out now and the others cannot buy them. We deal with all the owners rather than one person who says they speak for the family, and we put the split in writing so nobody relies on a sibling's arithmetic. Our page on selling an inherited house in Tulsa covers how that works.
The short version
- If probate is open, the personal representative controls the property, not the heirs
- Once heirs own it together, a co-owner living there is exercising an ownership right, not trespassing
- Contributions to taxes, insurance and repairs can be accounted for. Keep receipts
- Exclusive occupation can be brought into the accounting too, depending on the facts
- Four endings: a buyout, a written tenancy, an agreed sale, or partition
- Partition works and it is the worst financial outcome for everybody, including whoever refused
- No buyer can purchase around an unwilling co-owner. Anybody who says otherwise is not being straight with you
- Ask what they actually want before anybody mentions a lawyer
Frequently asked questions
My sibling lives in the inherited house and pays nothing. Can I make them leave?
Not simply. If probate is open the personal representative controls the property. If the heirs now own it together, a co-owner has a right to possession and is not trespassing.
Who controls the house during probate?
The personal representative appointed by the court, not the heirs individually or collectively. That is why establishing where the estate has got to comes first.
What if probate was never started?
Then the deed is still in the deceased's name and nobody can sell. Probate, or summary administration where the estate is small enough, has to happen first.
Should they be paying rent?
Where one co-owner has exclusive occupation, that can be brought into the accounting, and in some circumstances they may be liable for a share of a rental value. Whether it applies to your facts is an attorney question.
I have been paying the taxes. Does that count?
Courts can take account of unequal contributions when proceeds are divided. Keep tax receipts, insurance premiums, mortgage statements and contractor invoices rather than relying on memory.
Can one of us buy the others out?
That is usually the cleanest ending and it lets the sibling keep their home. It needs a valuation everybody accepts and usually a mortgage in their own name, so test whether they can qualify early.
Can we rent it to them instead?
A written tenancy at a market rent turns an open-ended grievance into an ordinary arrangement and buys everybody time. It also brings the landlord rules into play.
What is partition?
A lawsuit under 12 O.S. 1501.1 and following in which the court can divide or sell co-owned property. Three commissioners are appointed and, where it cannot be divided, it is appraised.
Could one of us take the house through partition?
Where the property cannot be divided and has been appraised, any party may elect to take it at the appraisement and pay the others their proportion. The window for that is short.
What happens if it goes to a sheriff's sale?
No sale may be made at less than two thirds of the commissioners' valuation. That is a floor rather than a target, and legal costs come out of the proceeds before anybody is paid.
So is partition a good idea?
It works, and it leaves everybody with less, including the person who refused. Its real value is usually as leverage toward an agreement rather than as an outcome.
Can I sell my share?
A co-owner can generally sell their own undivided interest, but the market for a fractional share with a relative living in the house is very thin. Take advice before assuming it is a route.
Can a cash buyer purchase around my sibling?
No. Nobody can buy a house that all the owners have not agreed to sell, and anybody telling you otherwise is not being straight with you.
What if they were the carer?
That is frequently the real reason the conversation is stuck. It is not a legal argument by itself, but ignoring it is why these disputes last years.
How do we agree a value?
Agree the method before anybody quotes a number. Most arguments about value are actually arguments about who chose the valuer.
What should I say to them?
Ask what they actually want, in writing, with a date for a reply. The answer is frequently time or dignity rather than the house.
When should we involve a lawyer?
Before anybody threatens anything. The first mention of a lawsuit turns a family conversation into a legal one and it does not come back.
What does waiting cost us?
Taxes, insurance and maintenance every month, plus deterioration if the house is only half-occupied, all coming out of the same pot everybody is arguing over.
Does the will settle it?
The will decides the shares. It does not decide who lives there while the estate is being sorted out, which is the thing you are actually arguing about.
Do you buy from multiple heirs?
Yes, and we deal with all of you rather than one person who says they speak for the family. The split goes in writing.
Should we sell to you or list it?
If everybody will sign and the house is sound, listing produces the most for the group. The difference is usually larger than the contributions you are arguing about.
What is the first thing to do?
Establish where the estate has got to: open, closed, or never started. Everything else depends on it and it takes one call.
We buy inherited houses, so read the last section knowing that. We are not attorneys and this is a situation where the cost of getting the order wrong is high. An Oklahoma probate attorney is the right first call, and Legal Aid Services of Oklahoma helps people who qualify.